Five Reasons Why You Should Own a Robo Dwarf Hamster

April 17, 2018 was one of the best days of my year. My boyfriend and I had taken a day trip to Mount Dora, Florida, and on the way home we stopped at Best Buy. Well if he was going to get to spend thirty minutes in Best Buy, dragging me through electronics and using technical jargon, then by golly I was gonna drag him around the PetSmart that was next door. And it is a good thing I did. I walked through the doors to the smell of cedar chips and bird seed, and carefully skirted past those yucky ole snakes, on my quest to find the mew mew’s (kitties). But before I could get there, I came upon the gerbil and hamster cages. And what I saw next was the most tender sight – a sight that made me fall in love.

There, in a tiny cage, were three tiny hamsters stacked on top of each other like mini Tsum Tsums, sleeping soundly in their tiny plastic igloo. Their tiny closed eyes were like small crescent moons. Their tiny pink noses wiggled as they snored contentedly. And their fluffy bodies engulfed one another, as they mushed on top of each other like pancakes. This totem pole of tiny animals was the most innocent sight I had ever seen. I would spend the next thirty minutes staring at the angelic sight, as my heart grew three sizes.

My boyfriend tried every tactic to pry me feasting eyes away from the delightful puffs of fluff. For weeks before I had begged him for a blub blub (a fish). He tried to show me all the pretty rainbow fish. I did not want a fish anymore. He tried to show me the mew mew’s stretching in their cages. I walked right back to the hamster cage. I did not want a mew mew anymore. My heart beat only for … my Moosh-Moosh. The name came to me as easily as falling asleep after a glass of wine. The way his little body mooshed over his hamster friends in their slumber, the name only made sense. He was mooshy, he was a moosh, he was my Moosh-Moosh.

When my boyfriend told me no and escorted my unwilling self out of the store, I frowned the whole way home. Now that Moosh-Moosh had made an appearance in my life, it just wasn’t the same without him around. The whole rest of the evening all I did was speak Moosh’s name. “Moosh-Moosh,” “Mooshy,” “A Moosh, please.” I got my twin sister in on the begging too. By 8:00 pm we were back in the car, on our way to PetSmart.

I proudly walked through the aisles of the store, selecting my cage, my fluff, hamster food, and of course some treats and toys for my new baby animal. I selected my Moosh-Moosh from the cage, signed his adoption papers, and purchased my supplies. I sat with his box in my lap, happy as a lark on the way home to set up his new environment. The first time I held his scrambling, terrified little body in my hands was a magical moment of sweetness and newfound duty. From then on, my life was never the same. And here are five reasons why you too should consider one of these delightful furry friends for yourself:

1. You Don’t Have to Clean Their Cage Very Often:

Robo dwarf hamsters are very small animals, therefore their messes are almost microscopic. The pet stores recommend to use fluff instead of cedar chips, so they really don’t smell at all. I only clean Moosh’s cage about twice a month, and even then it is super easy. I take off the top, dump the fluff out the bottom, rinse it out, and add new fluff. It only takes about ten minutes every two weeks to ensure your creature’s comfort in his little home.

2. You Don’t Have to Feed Them Often:

Robo dwarf hamsters also have very tiny stomachs. They really only need a few small corns a day. Corns which look like giant cookies when held in their tiny hands as they nibble contentedly with their tiny teeth. They will then store the corns for later in their cheeks, which take up half their body, giving them the most endearing appearance. A full bowl of food lasts my Moosh about five days. And their water will stay full for weeks on end (though you may want to change it just to keep it fresh). But they are desert animals and only drink a few drops of water a day!

3. They are Inexpensive:

I only spent about $50 on my whole set of supplies, including the cage, food, treats, toy, fluff, and Moosh himself! I bought the cage that came with a tunnel, second level platform, food bowl, water bottle, and hamster wheel. But then later I invested in some higher quality accommodations for my hamster, like an igloo hideout, a hamster ball, and a better water bottle and hamster wheel. I would recommend a leak free water bottle, because this prevents you from having to clean the cage of sopping wet fluff so often. Also, get a silent wheel, or one that can be greased for squeaks and doesn’t rattle. They are nocturnal animals who need to run about 100 miles a night, and if you don’t get the wheel right, you will never sleep again.

4. They are Tiny and Adorable and Smol Angels

The cuteness of these miniature animals will have you head over heels. They are fuzzy little balls of fur, about an inch and a half long, with tiny beady eyes, and hands and feet smaller than your pinky fingernail. Half their smol body is taken up by their cheeks full of food, and you can always tell where they are in their cage because their tiny pointy noses wiggle up to sniff through their fluff beds and their little bodies quiver in their burrows. The admirable little things run and run and run on their wheels going nowhere until they flip and fall out. Then they get back up and start over with more determination than an Olympic athlete, their little noses always pointed forward, and legs moving at lightning speed underneath them. My favorite part about my hamster is watching him groom himself. He wrings his tiny hands together in little circles, then reaches to the back of his tiny head with his tiny arms, and fluffs his hair forward, all with such speed you would think you were watching him in fast motion. When he sits on his hind legs and looks up at me, nose wiggling, he is an angel in my eyes.

5. They Have Great Personalities:

As tiny as my Moosh-Moosh may look, he has a big personality and a knack for socializing and party hosting. When he runs on his wheel, he goes hard – no pain, no gain. Some of his favorite exercise jams include Kesha, Lady Gaga, and Britney Spears. But he doesn’t just run by himself. He also leads wheel cycling classes BYOW style (Bring Your Own Wheel). Hamsters come with their wheels, exercise mats, and headphones from cages all around to jam with his sick beats, all while cutting out killer hamster bods in the most highly rated wheel running experience around. Occasionally he will invite more hamster friends to his house parties, of which he is always the DJ. I’ve never witnessed one of these personally, but that is because he only does it when I’m out of town. I know they happen though, because of the fluff trails and spare bits of food that have been kicked out of the cage, clearly only a result of hamsters raving to dubstep all night long, only to be quickly ushered out when Moosh hears me walk in the door.

So there you have five good reasons why you should own a robo dwarf hamster. They are so low maintenance, they are basically a furry fish that sits on the shelf. But if you win them over enough, you can let them eat out of your palm, feeling the warmth of their tiny paws on your skin, which is way better than a fish! These tiny dwarf hamsters are adoringly endearing to watch and to bond with. If you want a pet that feels like more than a trophy piece but without the mess and commitment, robo dwarf hamsters are a great choice for you. Speaking especially to you if you are a young adult without kids and can’t afford a pet fee, I hope one of these angelic puffs of fluff can someday charm you into a happier, more dutiful life like mine did to me.

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