The Key To Living A Happy Life

Sometimes I am enamored by God’s plan. I am glad to be so wrapped up in the goodness He gives to life that I can see no end. I am excited to be soaring at rocket speed on the wings of His providence. I am grateful for the duty of kingdom working. I am delighted by His wisdom of His own masterful creation.

Faith-driven obedience feels like running a race in the middle of the air, and only after the initiation of each stride does a piece of ground appear before you. But surely it appears before you time and time again. Building trust. Keeping you in tune. Teaching you to listen. Increasing love.

Storytime

Even after working hard and nailing this past audition season, my limited summer availability really hurt my chances of getting a job this summer. I quickly became pretty convinced that I wouldn’t have a performing job this summer like I had hoped. It had me really bummed and confused. I kind of felt like just humorously throwing the rest of my year to the wind and seeing what the heck would happen. Clearly it seemed my dreams and my plans weren’t meant to work out even after all the work I did.

Then yesterday I was offered an out of state contract performing as a replacement principal dance swing in two different shows, making $700 a week, with meals provided, rent under $400 a month, and two $400 bonuses. Well okay, blow me away then. My heart skipped so many beats it jumped into my throat. There was just one teensie weensie sort kinda humongous problem. They wanted me to be there by the end of this week and I only had twenty-four hours to respond. They brought out the flippin’ dessert cart before the meal.

To any of you who don’t know, I moved back to Louisville last year to be a teacher. But I couldn’t just settle for teaching at one school like a normal person. No, over-achiever me had to make life complicated and work at all the schools. So, I work at five schools, each of which doesn’t end its semester until May or June. Hooray. So you see my dilemma here. If I took this contract, I would have to break ties early with five different workplaces, leaving shows, classes, and teachers high and dry without choreographers, instructors, or subs. Wow, a month of rejection, and then this? Really? It felt like just my luck.

I puzzled and pondered all night long at work. This contract sounded amazing. I wanted it so badly. Everything about it was perfect. I would finally be dancing again, finally performing again, finally pursuing my actual career goals again. It was right in line with my dreams. Then cut to the thought bubble of guilt: me feeling like a horrible person, leaving all my commitments and abandoning my students in the dust.

According to the sorting hat, I’m black and gold for life. The Hufflepuff in me, will rank loyalty over ambition nine times out of ten. (Sorry, Slytherins. I still don’t think you are evil. I’m dating a Slytherin and I respect your ambitious qualities.) After much thought, after much trying to figure out a way to take this contract, after much pondering the conversations I would have to have with my students and directors, I said no.

And strangely, I feel so at peace. I don’t even feel that sad, or slighted, or discouraged. I feel so grateful.

Practicing Gratitude

Last night when I was battling this decision, a lot of things happened. My best friend made me laugh so hard I cried. I hadn’t laughed that hard in months. My students came up and hugged me at the end of class, and I hugged them tighter than normal as I realized I didn’t want this to be the last time they saw me. I drove home through a city that I love to my boyfriend, who treated me so tenderly and lovingly, knowing that I was conflicted. In all of those moments, I started to feel a little more okay about the impossibility of taking that contract, as I realized how good my life actually is, and will remain with or without it.

It would have been really easy to victimize my situation and complain about a circumstance that I couldn’t change. But why should I be bitter if my prior commitments took away an opportunity? You win some, you lose some, and you can’t always have it all. I believe God’s timing is perfect. If I was meant to take that contract, then I believe things would have worked out more in my favor. Knowing I have a sovereign, good, good Father leading me along the right path is all the peace I need. There is a reason behind everything that happens, and maybe this time was meant to make me look at my life for a day like I might be leaving it tomorrow. To spur a bought of perspective and gratitude.

What right have I to be negative and complain about any of my circumstances? What right have I to whine about how life isn’t going my way? What right have I to mope when I have the privilege of working at the place I called home in high school? When I get to be a leader for some amazing students? When I get to have a voice in kids’ lives? When I can choose to let my students bring joy to my own life? Look at all that I have! I have Sabrina. I have Schade. I have Heather. I have Isabella. I have Mom. I have Dad. I have the rest of my family. I have five jobs that bring me income. I have music, and coffee, and candles, and my bedroom, and my car. I have dark chocolate chips. I have so so much. And it blows me away that sometimes it still isn’t enough. That sometimes I still feel the need or the right to have more. That sometimes I still complain. That sometimes I’m too caught up in worry and stress to enjoy the ride that is my bountiful life.

Practicing gratitude may be one of the top-ranking ways to experience a happier life. So, I’m going to start now. Today I’m grateful for warm weather, the promise of summer, the hope of tomorrow, and the day after that. For meetings with new and old friends, the chance to dance, books about love, and opportunities to see a world so much bigger than my personal bubble. For a job offer that gave me confidence, showed me perspective, and made me feel grateful for a life that I realize I don’t want to leave just yet. I’m grateful for a loving, caring, omniscient God that always provides a way. I’m grateful that God has a lot to teach me, and He’s nowhere near done yet. I’m grateful that His will is good and that it can be done in my life. I’m grateful that expanding His kingdom and loving his people is the only reason I’m alive.

I’m not saying I’m officially throwing my performing career to the wind because one little contract wasn’t timely. What I am saying is that today I am at peace. I am at peace that God showed me how to finally say no after years of saying yes. I am at peace that the blessings in my life have been revealed to me so sweetly to cover any pain this decision might have caused. I am at peace that God has a good and perfect plan for my life. And most of all that that good and perfect plan isn’t centered around me and my happiness, but around glorifying Him in whatever He has me do. How can I be sad when I get to serve the creator of life itself who has given me everything in life that is good? Today I rejoice in the Lord, for He is good, and He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake! I am so ready to see what my future holds, because I know that with my Lord and savior in control, it is going to be huge, and maybe in the way I least expect it. The future is bright.

Psalm 23

Psalm 32

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